Unicorn Jokes and Puns

Have you heard the one about the unicorn who joined the orchestra? Everyone from the brass section say playing the horn went to his head……. da dum tsst! Enter hysterical laughter, unimpressed eye rolls and dads jaw hitting the floor after nearly suffering a stroke, induced by the grand daddy of all dad jokes.

They may not be the first thing that strikes the tongue when entertaining your crowd of friends at a bbq. But unicorns can provide a rather unique repertoire of comedic value that might just have your guests knee slapping and cackling for hours.

The cool thing is, although unicorns are often associated with children’s fantasies and stories, they moonlight as a potential treasure trove of humorous one liners and witty puns that can be enjoyed by the whole family. Cheeky, naughty, child appropriate, there is a unicorn joke for all occasions.

Unicorn Jokes and Puns

Let’s explore some of the possibilities available to us. From that sneaky gem you keep tucked away for the perfect moment, to the quips tailored for specific events. They’re all here, and ready to be unleashed on your audience.

What Are Unicorn Puns?

The difference between a pun and a standard joke is that a pun explores the different meanings of a particular word, or words that are part of a sentence in a way that makes the sentence become humorous.

For example, if you know someone who loves golf, you could say to them “we should go clubbing sometime”. Initially people would assume you mean going out night clubbing. A golfer however, might pick up on your pun which is a clever way of saying “we should go for a game of golf” (as golfers use golf clubs).

So what does this have to do with unicorns? Well plenty, if you’re here to discover how you can weave a unicorn into a funny tale. Here are a few examples that might peak your interest. But be warned, you might just get the pointy end.

  • I tried to grow maize in my backyard, but my plant only grew one harvest. You might call that a Uni – corn.
  • I love living next door to a unicorn. They make the best neeeeiiighbors.
  • What do you call a grandfather unicorn? Pop – corn
  • What do you call a castrated unicorn? A: A eunuchorn.
  • Unicorns ought to be banned from Facebook. All they do is poke people all day.
  • A unicorn and a Mare were caught robbing a bank. The unicorn admitted he was Co-horsed into doing it.

As you can see, a bit of wordplay can create some amusing results. The trick to puns is finding your foundation word and then building the joke around it, while also keeping the two separate meanings relevant. If you can string a few different puns together in the same joke, you’re on your way to becoming legendary at the pun game.

Silly Unicorn Jokes

It’s safe to say that any joke that involves a unicorn will likely be silly, but that’s the whole point of it. The goal here is to get a laugh out of the listener and to remind us that we all have that inner child who should be let out every now and then.

There is no real rule here in how to deliver a silly unicorn joke. By design, the lead up and the punchline are equally important and in most cases, cringe worthy. But that’s a good thing. If you’re met with grumbles and groans, then you know you’ve found a great silly joke. And that’s exactly what it’s meant to be. Here are a few uniCorny lines to drop the next time you’re feeling the urge.

There was a man who once wanted to film the mating session of unicorns. He was going to call it “UniPorn

  • Who should never hug a unicorn? A: a cyclops.
  • Subway has just released their new unicorn sub. Apparently it uses horned beef.
  • Did you here about the Mexican golfer who fought a unicorn? There ended up being a hole in Juan
  • What is a unicorns favorite ice cream? A Uni-Cornetto
  • My dad is like a unicorn, I’ve never seen him.

Unicorn Jokes and Puns For All Occasions

Perhaps you’re after a joke designed for a specific day of the year. Is it a birthday? Do you need something a little risqué to add to a Valentine’s Day card? Or maybe you’d like to boost that Christmas cheer. These jokes drive a point home in a different way because these jokes are met on a more personal level.

They might be directed at one of your parents reaching a milestone birthday. Perhaps you want to express your love and passion for your partner in a devilish way, or maybe you would like to create your own Christmas Day Bon Bons and need some wise cracks to cause a chuckle around the dinner table.

In any case, below are a few jokes that are manufactured entirely for these events. Be careful with these ones, it is a good idea to know your audience well before deploying some of these ones.

Birthday Unicorn Jokes

My daughter told me for her birthday she only wanted two things. The first gift she wanted was a unicorn. I tried to explain to her that that was going to be impossible to find, and then proceeded to ask her what the second thing was. She looked at me with her big round eyes and a shy look on her face and said to me “I want you to tell mommy she is beautiful” so it looks like my daughter is getting a unicorn.

  • They say unicorn blood can keep you young, I can see you’re not a believer. Happy Birthday
  • At what age do you stop believing in unicorns. Who knows, you’re turning 40 and you still believe your kids will do the dishes one day.
  • For your birthday, I brought this card for you with a unicorn on it. They say unicorns bring you good luck. It must be working because you’re lucky I am still here.
  • Happy birthday! You must be a unicorn. They say they can live for centuries too.

Valentines Day Unicorn Jokes

  • To my Valantine, we will never be Unitorn apart.
  • Are you a unicorn? Because you are my number one fantasy.
  • Are you a mythical creature? Because you’ve got me unicornered.
  • You’re my One Kernel, or as the the story books would call it, my “Unicorn”
  • I was going to work out, shave me beard and get a tan so I had the body you’ve always dreamed I would have. Instead, I got you this card with a unicorn on it. It’s the closest I could get to fulfilling your unrealistic fantasy. Happy Valentines Day.

Christmas Unicorn Jokes and Puns

  • What is the difference between Santa and a unicorn? A: one of them kids love, has bright white hair and is magic. The other is Santa.
  • What is the unicorns favorite Christmas carrol? A: Away in a Maine-ger
  • What did the unicorn hang on the Christmas tree? A: Hornements
  • What did the unicorn get for Christmas? A: a unicycle.
  • What did Santa say to the Unicorn? A: Holy crap! You’re real?
  • What do you get if you cross a unicorn with a reindeer? A: A Uni-Fawn

Unicorn Dad Jokes

Let’s face it, there’s no beating a good old dad joke. We might role our eyes or call them lame, but we still appreciate the dry wit it takes to come up with a true and proper dad joke.

Dad jokes are the corner stone of any childhood, it’s dads way of giving us the giggles, and our reward to him when he sees us continue the legacy and pass those little pieces of gold onto our children.

So if you’re keen to take up the challenge laid down by your own father, or if you are a dad yourself, here are a few beauties to add to your arsenal.

  • Did you know a unicorn is just a horse that gets the point?
  • What do you call a unicorn that only comes out at night? A: A night-mare
  • Where are the best spots to try and find a unicorn? A: Filly-delphia and Maine.
  • What looks like half a unicorn? A: the other half of a unicorn.
  • They say you can milk a unicorn. It’s Legend Dairy
  • Someone told me today that I must have totally gone crazy. I was so stunned I nearly fell off my unicorn

Unicorn Jokes For Kids

No one gets unicorns like kids do. They dream about them, color them in, put stickers of them everywhere and use the household broom to pretend they are riding them around their own little world of mystical excitement. So it goes without saying that kids should also have some rib ticklers at their command. Here are a few G rated jokes for the little ones.

  • Why do unicorns like puns? A: because they are Uni-corny
  • What do unicorns eat for breakfast? A: Hornflakes
  • What are the best names for a pet unicorn? A: Spike, Uni-Shaun, Uni-Dawn
  • What do you call a tired Unicorn? A: A Uni-yawn
  • What do you call a muscly unicorn? A: Uni-Braun
  • What did the unicorn say to the horse who asked him for advise? A: I can give you a few pointers

Unicorn Name Puns

We’ve all grown up with that circle of guys or gals who would do anything for us. These people are considered more than friends and are closer to being family, and there is nothing that says “we are best mates” like giving your friends a bad nick name that follows them to the grave.

What better way to seal a friendship then using some quirky, and possibly undesirable unicorn puns to help identify those closest to you? The most deserving of mates might just be worthy of one of the pun names ahead.

  • Johnny the Unicorn, can never be found when it’s his round of drinks.
  • Dan the Unicorn, they say his barbecuing skills are legendary.
  • Shawn the golden-horn unicorn. Known for his skills with the ladies.
  • Dave the Unicorn Whisperer, puts himself in stories that are hard to believe in.
  • If any of your friends are farmers they could be Farmer Jim …,.U Know Corn
  • Stan the unicorn man, he’s 8 times more likely to find a unicorn than he is finding a girlfriend.

The Wrap Up

So there you have it. A whole plethora of unicorn jokes and puns to draw from when the moments arise. Who would have thought unicorns could have provided so much versatility in the world of comedy?

But our list shouldn’t stop here. It should serve as inspiration and motivation for you to brainstorm some of your own jokes honoring our sparkly, mythical creatures. I’m 100% confident you can add some of your own punchlines to this catalog of laughs and become an expert in unicorn comedy.

You might be at a wedding, where you drop that line about how the bride is like a unicorn, and how all the grooms friends for months didn’t believe she existed.

Or, let’s say you’re hosting a baby shower. To kick things off with a laugh, you might open with this, “So (expecting mothers name) who is the unicorn of the couple? it’s obvious one of you is the horny one.

Lastly, let’s imagine we are at a friends bucks night. Everyone is having a few drinks and a laugh and its finally your time to shine. What is a good joke to keep the momentum going? Why not try this one? A Rabbi, a priest, a blind man, an Asian, an African, a democrat, a republican, a horse and a unicorn all walked into a bar. The bar man looked up and said “what is this? A joke?”

So the next time you’re gathered round the camp fire, or the bar or anywhere for that matter, and someone asks you to tell one of your best icebreakers, remember, Uni….corn……. do… it. I know I know, terrible…….. or was it?

If you want to learn more about unicorns you can also check out our ultimate guide to unicorns. And don’t forget to celebrate Unicorn Day!